Appreciating the Dark

I don’t about the rest of you, but I hate when the time changes in the fall. With the exception football and fresh apples, I see nothing redeeming about fall. I’m a summer guy. Someday I want to live where it’s Sunny and 80 degrees every day. But what I really don’t like is how short the days start to get in the fall and into the winter. I love the sunshine. Nothing helps my mood like a bright sunny day, but when those days get shorter and shorter, it starts to suck the life out of me.

I’m usually in the office every morning by 7:15 or so and one morning last week it suddenly pitch-black as pulled up the driveway. Ugh. After several months of pulling up in the morning sun, it’s now the darkest part of the day. The moon is at the lowest point, and the light of dawn has yet to peak over the horizon. Yuck. Couple that with the fact I’m alone in a church until around 9:30 or so most days the darkness can just be creepy sometimes. I mean I don’t work in one of those 150-year-old gothic cathedrals with bats and such, but even still when it’s pitch black this building makes weird noises, and it can creep me out. There is nothing creepier than being out here at night, alone, during a thunderstorm though. Yikes. I just turn on, like every light in the place. Then I get paranoid because we have this huge glass front some sort of serial killer is looking at me! AAAIYEEEE!

It got me thinking this morning though, does the winter help me appreciate summer more? Does night help me appreciate the daytime? I’m so thankful in these long Western Ohio winters for the daylight. Even when it’s sunny and -10 outside I’m just grateful it’s not dreary and -10. As I have gotten older, I’ve come to see how the dark and the light have their place. It’s easy, for me at least, to take things for granted when they are around all the time. I’ve been married over 18 years, my wife is always around. I tend to her for granted, until she goes somewhere for a few days and halfway through day 2 I suddenly realize how much she does around the house and for our family and how much I just miss having her around. It’s like that old Cinderella song, “Don’t Know What You Got (Until Its Gone).”

I’ll never completely understand all the terrible things that I happened in this world. I’ll never totally understand why some families are riddled with tragedies, or why a great guy like my Dad dies young while others live on, but I the older I get, the more the darkness helps me appreciate the light. In the midst of senseless tragedies, the more I am thankful for the first responders who run into shootings, fires, and disaster than those of us who run away from them. Mr. Rogers’ Mom was right to remind him to “look for the helpers” anytime bad things happened. In the midst of sickness, for example, there are nurses and doctors. I’ve heard countless stories of cancer patients or hospice patients and families who form bonds with their caregivers. During the darkest moments, light.

As I chronicled in earlier posts, I’ve been battling a lot of cynicism. And now I honestly feel like I am coming out of the other side of that, and it’s helping me to appreciate that season already, and moreover understand the light of this season. As part of not falling back into that cycle, I’ve got this new-found appreciation for “where I’ve been.” It doesn’t mean I want to go back there, but I couldn’t get here without being there. And it makes the “there” all the sweeter.

For a guy like me, one of the most challenging parts of living here aside from leaving our family is that after spending 31 years of my life in Eastern Kentucky, has been the weather. It never snows on Halloween down home. It has here. Since I’m already depressed naturally in the winter, and this past year my family had some struggles, I had some challenges at work, all during what turned out to be a very long winter, it all just spiraled me into this jaded place. Going forward though I am going to appreciate significantly next summer more. And while the days are getting shorter I am going to enjoy the light I do get, and be thankful for the dark and the cold because it makes the light and the summer that much sweeter.

Appreciation!

Somewhere, sometime, at some place some person “It takes a village to raise a child.” Well, we don’t really have villages anymore per se, but it certainly takes some sort of community to raise a person. Or a community to fail a person. It’s Pastor Appreciation Month. I’m not sure who decides these things, but somewhere along the way, probably during one of those awful KLOVE pledge drives, someone came up with the idea. Where I live now it’s not a big deal, maybe should it be. In other parts of the country, it seems like a much bigger deal, maybe it shouldn’t be. Culture is funny like that. Anytime I think about Pastor Appreciation Month I am eternally thankful for the people who believed in me, even when there was nothing to see. This week I just want to name a couple of the folks who I greatly appreciate, but I unfortunately never get to see. Maybe they’ll read this, perhaps not. Either way, I hope they know I genuinely appreciate what they’ve done for me.

And disclaimer I for sure appreciate my family. My wife, my kids, my Mom, sister, all my in-laws. They have always been incredibly supportive of me. Whether it was self-publishing a comic book, working at Amazon.com, or working in a Community College Library, to going into ministry full time they’ve believed I could be successful at wherever the wind might blow me. It’s terribly difficult to move away from your support system, but though they live a couple of hundred miles away, I sleep well knowing they’ve always got my back.

Somewhere out there in the wilds of Virginia is a guy named Travis Mowell. I met Travis in my first ill-fated attempt at Seminary, and I almost got him sent packing from there. Fortunately, for him, that didn’t happen. He finished that race and went on to the next phases. At some point, he ended up here in Piqua, and at some point, he thought enough of me that he stuck his neck out with this congregation and convinced them to hire me on staff. Me. No seminary degree. No experience as a Pastor. Me. He saw something in me.

Travis isn’t here at PCC anymore, and I miss him. Things happen for a reason, though sometimes we don’t fully understand why at the time. But God clearly had big plans for Travis as I’ve watched through social media his family continue to grow and thrive, we text occasionally, and I love seeing his big personality shine where God has him now.

I don’t think he’ll ever truly understand how much his belief in me sustains me every day. And even in the little over 3 years now since he has been gone from this family, his legacy, the battles he fought, the vision he led all, like the guys before him, carry on.

Travis gives us firm footing from which we are to be the family of God. We wouldn’t be where we are today as a church without his faithful service. Heck, I wouldn’t have lasted this long if in the tough days I when I feel like quitting I just don’t think about disappointing God, but disappointing guys like Travis who believed in me when there was nothing to see. And I’m so happy he is doing well. He is healthier then he has ever been, he is rock crawling Jeeps, and he is still faithfully preaching. I would not be here without God having put him into my life. I miss having him around, but I’m thrilled with where God has him. And don’t tell him, but occasionally I still listen to his sermons to see if drops a “worzy” on accident every now and then.

Somewhere in Michigan (this is where all my Ohio friends boo loudly) is Jim Matthews (stop booing he is from Ohio and a big Buckeye fan). Travis gave me a chance to step into ministry, but I wouldn’t have gotten there if Jim hadn’t given me the opportunity to lead. Jim is just a great guy. He walked into a church that was not in the healthiest of situations and in his first year he had to bury one of his Elders, my Dad, and learn how to deal with some big ol’ Eastern Kentucky personalities. Jim’s invitation to me to go to a conference in October of 2005 would end-up forever changing my direction in life. When I became a lay leader in the church, he didn’t smash all us younger leader’s drive for change or new ideas. Instead, he taught us patience. Sometimes painfully. Sometimes he didn’t want to have the patience either, sometimes he wept and gnashed his teeth with us, but he still found ways to relate to everyone. Especially the difficult ones. I always appreciated that about him.

There was a sermon series he did many years ago called “Authentic Christianity,” and it was on the Book of James. And as he went through some of those qualities of authenticity as a person, and I saw a lot of that in Jim. He probably doesn’t even remember that series, but I do. It was another real paradigm shifting point in my faith because Jim was just Jim. I knew if I wanted to be an effective leader I could not be someone I was not.  Jim never tried to be someone he was not, at least not with me. He was always honest when he was struggling, and honest when he was in a good spot. I try to live that out myself every day.

For my family at least, in times of crisis, he was one of those guys that knew how to be silent, and when to speak. He preached my Dad’s funeral like he had known him for decades when they had only known each other for about a year. And having done this long enough now to have a done a funeral or two, Dad’s funeral didn’t come out of a book. I could tell Jim meant every word he said. Thank you, Jim!

Countless people have impacted my life in some way. Kyle Russell, Ryan Shoaff, Adam Irwin, Dave Fishback, Elmer Mullins, Greg Denton, Steve Sierer, Travis Jones, Ann Mullins, Bob Zimmerman, Jeff Pepiot, John Manard, Doug and Bethannie Dolder, Ron Rader, David Kaiser, Bridget Snapp, Eric White, my current leadership and church family here at PCC, and on and on the list goes. To all of you- Thanks! I may not be the best husband, Dad, friend, Pastor, counselor, volunteer, or writer on the planet but I’m a better one because of all of you.

If you’ve had a Pastor or a teacher or a family member impact you in some way, don’t wait for whatever appreciation month to let them know. Let them know now! I guarantee you it will make their day.

The Gospel According to Bill and Ted

Full disclosure that this blog post is an excerpt from my sermon coming this Sunday.  I can only write so much people!

In February of 1989 I was in the 5^th grade and somehow had convinced my Dad to take my friends and me to see a movie that had just come out called “Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”  The movie launched the career of Keanu Reeves, who I must confess, has never stopped being Ted “Theodore” Logan to me and for peeps who are around my age, it’s a bit of a cult classic.  It’s incredibly hokey in all the right ways, the acting is mediocre at best, and soundtrack holds up about as well as a generic brand wet paper towel.  But at its core, its message is simple and clear.  And believe it or not, biblical.  If you’ve ever seen the movie, you know the actual theme is “Be Excellent to Each Other.”  Seems like today we could use less Hannity and Maddow and a little more Bill and Ted.

I saw on the Twitter this morning another politician being chased out of a restaurant after being harassed.  Now, I don’t agree with this guy’s politics either, but just because we don’t agree on policy doesn’t mean he shouldn’t get to eat in peace.  We get to express our displeasure with our votes.  We can call his office, write letters, etc. But let the man eat in peace.  All we do in those situations is force the other person to shut down, feel attacked, and you lose the high ground.  Instead how about paying for his dinner?  Could you imagine the shock when he finds out his bill paid for by a Democrat who left him a note that said: “I don’t agree with your politics, but thank you for going into public service.”?  And then what if they started doing that everywhere, all the time?  The next time the guy is a room with a bunch of Democrats debating policy he’s not looking to get his agenda over and tear people down to do it because suddenly those aren’t Democrats across the table, they are humans.

Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5 during the sermon on the mount:

³⁸ “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ ³⁹ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. ⁴⁰ And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. ⁴¹ If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. ⁴² Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

This was a foreign concept to Jewish audience he was speaking.  They lived by an “Eye for an eye” after all.  Jesus, however, is upping the ante’.  If you really want to be more like me then when you are slapped don’t slap back.  And then he goes further saying “Hey if someone sues you?  Give them what they are asking for and a little more as well just for good measure.”  And then he gives yet another example of generosity in action.  In those days anyone under Roman rule was required, by law, to carry a Roman soldiers equipment and packs for one mile, or they would be placed in prison.  And this, of course, did not sit well with many people.  They complained about it a lot.  And Jesus says “Don’t just one mile, go two.”  It’s from this passage we get the phrase “Going the extra mile.”

It would seem the disciples, and later Paul didn’t think this was a suggestion either.  Peter writes in 1 Peter 3:

⁹ Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Paul said the same in multiple parts of his letters.  In Romans 12 he says:

¹⁷ Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Overcome evil with good?  That’s a novel concept.

Back to 1 Peter 3, in concert with what Paul says here, Peter quotes the Psalm 34:14 from the Old Testament:

They must turn from evil and do good;
    they must seek peace and pursue it.

Seek peace?  Pursue peace?  Are we pursuing peace when we chase politicians away from their dinner?  Or are we merely sewing more seeds of discourse?  Are we just reinforcing what they already think about “those” people?  Earlier in Matthew 5 verse 9 Jesus says that “Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they will be called the Children of God.”  Paul says that peace is one of the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 9.

In his letter to the Thessalonian church Paul wrote in chapter 5 verse 15:

¹⁵ Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.

Seems to me like those in the early church seemed to take Jesus very seriously when he said to turn the other cheek and be people of peace.

If anything this experiment of a country called America has always struggled with the tension between religion and politics.  The problem with so much in our society today, as it was in the late 1700’s, is almost purely spiritual.  And so we search for political solutions for spiritual problems and wonder why it seems can’t heal and become united.  Slavery is not a political issue, it’s a spiritual one.  It’s the abject failure of one man to recognize another man as his equal, despite the differences in their outward appearance.  It’s arrogance, it’s the height of privilege, it’s rooted in willful ignorance, and let’s call it what it is “sin.”

Laws don’t change hearts, unfortunately.  And so since the beginning we have been divided nation and politics have always been personal because the fundamental issues we quibble about are inherently spiritual in nature.  While it seems polarizing today, let’s not forget that 200 years ago Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton in a duel because their political differences got personal.  This is nothing new, but the vitriol and outrage seems to be reaching a level this country has not seen in several decades.

Listen understand I’m not saying there is not place for the rule of law.  Or that there does not need to be laws to protect people, or policies to guide how we do business, and other things. But at the end of the day the underlying problem in all of it is the inability to look at the Senator eating his dinner at the table and recognize he’s a human and pursue peace and common ground.

What’s funny to me is that in a culture where we hand out pariticpant’s trophies like candy it seems we crave winner and losers in the political arena.  And we expect our side to win at all cost.  When it comes to politics we appear to check our humanity at the door.  I’m just asking we inject humanity back into the equation.  That, perhaps instead of viewing the other side as the enemy, we view them as someone to serve and get to know.  Let’s view them as people and not evil cyborgs hell bent on destroying ‘Merica.

Maybe if we could just do that, we might as Paul says, “overcome evil with good.”  Or if Jesus was around today, he might sum it up by quoting the great 20^th Century Thinkers Bill and Ted who put it simply, “Be excellent to each other.”

And then, like our 16th President so eloqunetly put when stepping out of the phone booth onto the legandary stage at San Dimas High School, I bet he would add with a twinle in his eye, “And Party on dudes!”

Maybe.  😊

San Dimas High School Football Rules!

 

The Cynic is Locked Away

It’s the final post in this series I have been doing on Cynicism. If you missed any of them, they are; here, here, here, here, and here.

This past weekend I took a rare Sunday off and took my two teenage sons to the Cincinnati Comic Expo. I have a confession to make here; I was very disappointed going into it. We have this big old glass Coca-Cola pitcher we keep in our living room, and we fill it with change over time. I have this spot in my car I fill with change as well. When I decided to go to this thing I knew we live on a tight budget so I declared I would be using the change as my mad money. I had grand visions of what I was going to purchase, I had a plan, and I was sure we had well over $150 worth of change. We ended up having $76 in change. I was annoyed. Then when we got there, it was $20 to park. Now I’ve got $56. When we got in there, I could find none of these things I was actively looking for. As I was becoming increasingly annoyed, my sons were having a blast. So I just gave-in, bought something for my wife, something for one of my friends I knew they would like, and watched the joy on my kids’ faces as they ran through all my money and their money, met a couple of their heroes, and watched them genuinely have a blast. And that made me far more happy than tracking down Justice League #1 and getting it signed by one of the writers.

In comics, the villain always gets caught and thrown into some sort of prison or looney bin where they will eventually escape. It’s inevitable. As I have been on this journey of fighting off cynicism and negativity, I had a-ha moment on Sunday as I just find so much joy in my kids happy, being generous locks The Cynic into Arkham Asylum or Iron Heights Prison (comic book references). It doesn’t kill him, because we can never honestly kill off the defects in our character, but we can safely lock them away for a time, know they are going to escape, and be ready for it.

In the best-selling book “The 5 Love Languages” the author talks about the 5 different ways people give and receive love. Mine #1 has always been the language of gifts. I really enjoy going out shopping with an eye out for something someone might like. And in turn, when someone does the same for me, it makes me feel loved because that person was thinking about me. To think someone was out and saw something, and thought, “I bet Jeff would get a kick out of this, or appreciate it,” really means a lot to me.

While curiosity, as I discussed in my last post, begins to wear down the Cynic in me, I was reminded this weekend that generosity is what locks him the slammer. I’ve felt better mentally this week than I have in months, and I think it’s because I stopped worrying about myself and put others first.

For those of us who have faith in Jesus, that is precisely what Jesus tries to get us to understand. You will never find joy in selfishness. You might find temporary happiness, but you won’t find joy. You will find joy in being a servant because that’s what Jesus did. If we want to get closer to the heart of God, we have to make the decision every day to die to ourselves, clothe ourselves in humility, see people through His eyes, and be generous in the way he wired you to be generous.

The 5 Love Languages is so great because it does a great job of getting down to that DNA of how we are wired. I’m wired to give gifts. My wife is wired to show her generosity by acts of service. Other people are wired to be generous by just giving others their time or physical touch, and others are really good at being generous with their encouragement.

When you feel the negativity creeping in? When you feel the cynicism start to cloud everything? Just put yourself on the back burner for a little while and go be generous the way God made you to be. It will chase the dark clouds away I promise.

Time to Defeat the Cynic

I’m going to wrap this series on cynicism this week with this post and my Thursday post. So if you missed any the previous posts, click here , here, here, and here.  That will take you all the previous posts about cynicism and you’ll all caught up!

For me personally, the negativity inside me has been festering for a while. I knew that I needed to address it, but I didn’t actually realize how it was genuinely affecting me until I got a preview copy Carey Nieuwhof’s newest book, “Didn’t See Coming: Overcoming the 7 Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences.” The very first challenge deal with cynicism and I felt like it was written specifically to me. I’ve finished the whole book, and it’s quite good. If you’ll permit me here a quick review before we get back to the topic at hand.

****Begin review****

I thought the book was well done, but it is undoubtedly targeted at faith-based people and leaders. And while much of it is written from a Christian perspective, there are indeed still principles that can be drawn on and used by everyone, no matter their faith, in anything they are attempting; be it work, a creative project, a marriage, etc. There was something in all 7 of those things he covers; cynicism, compromise, disconnection, irrelevance, pride, burnout, and emptiness, that I recognized I had battled with before, so everything resonated with me. If you pick up the book for yourself, just know that he just doesn’t present all these problems and not offer solutions, every one of the challenges he shares what has worked for him personally to combat each issue. In the end, I found it to be transparent, vulnerable, and an excellent resource. It will go on my bookshelf, but I guarantee it will come off the shelf often as I face each of these challenges myself.

****End Review****

As we’ve discussed at length here on the blog, the very first challenge in the book Carey tackles in cynicism. It’s the one that has resonated most with me. As I’ve outlined over the past month, I’ve kind of identified the stressors that drive my cynicism the most. I’ve been working on how to approach a lot of that, especially work, and I feel like I am making some progress. This brings me back to the book and Carey’s antidote for cynicism; Curiosity.

Now if you are cynic like me the first time I read that I was immediately annoyed. Curiosity? In the book, Carey tells a quick story about an older Professor being interviewed and how this man’s face lit up when he talked about new discoveries and how he just oozed optimism and wonder. As a read this through the second time, trying not be cynical about it, I started to think about the last time I was really in awe of something. Seconds turned to minutes. Minutes to half an hour. Half an hour to an hour. I honestly had to go back about two years ago to find a moment where I was just genuinely kind of awestruck.

I was at a conference with the leadership of our church, almost all our wives, and some young leaders we saw potential in. There were so many of they had two rows reserved for us at this conference. As I got to talking to some of the people around from much much larger churches who brought far fewer people and person after person was shocked a church of 125 could bring two dozen leaders to this thing I had one of those moments were reality slaps you, in a good way. The fact was, for whatever reason, God has got me, in His story, playing this role with these incredible people. And all these incredible people look at me, your favorite Two Time Seminary Dropout, as a leader. At that moment I could have been crippled with anxiety over that, but instead, I just got filled with wonder and thankfulness, that often, in spite of myself, I don’t HAVE to do this job, rather I am blessed to fulfill this calling. I get to do it. I am privileged to be here. And I think its no coincidence this happened at a conference where my mind was open to learning new things, to admitting I don’t have the answers, and being open to discovering something new.

Curiosity. Who would have thought that?

I won’t go into everything Carey says relating to reclaiming your curiosity (they were generous enough to give me a free book, so I’m generous enough to suggest you buy a copy), but after initially thinking that was the worst antidote ever, I now realize he is right. Nothing cures my cynical nature like a shot of true wonder that is almost always brought on by being curious. And being curious requires me to shut-up and listen.

A couple of years back I read the late Mike Yaconelli’s book “Dangerous Wonder,” and it contains this passage:

“Voices surround us, always telling us to move faster. It may be our boss, our pastor, our parents, our wives, our husbands, our politicians, or, sadly, even ourselves. So, we comply. We increase the speed. We live life in the fast lane because we have no slow lanes anymore. Every lane is fast, and the only comfort our culture can offer is more lanes and increased speed limits. The result? Too many of us are running as fast as we can, and an alarming number of us are running much faster than we can sustain.”

The speed at which we live our lives doesn’t leave room for curiosity. It doesn’t leave room for risk, or wonder, or awe, because we often are moving too fast to have time for, or even notice such things. Lately, God has been telling me to pump the brakes because I’m so focused on getting to the destination that I am missing the opportunity to enjoy the journey. When I am moving too fast, I don’t have time to be thankful for the fact that God allows me to take the journey in the first place and that’s where entitlement, ego, and cynicism find a foothold. I need to be done with that.

Hey, I think I’m starting to get it!

The Cynic Doesn’t Go to the Gym

In case you missed it check out the previous posts on my battle with cynicism here, here, and here.

I have always loved superheroes. I can’t remember back far enough to remember when I couldn’t read, and I also can’t remember back far enough to a time when I didn’t read comic books. I still read comic books. Heck, I am two weeks away from taking a Sunday off and heading to the Cincinnati Comic Expo for comics, Funk Pops, and people watching. It’s one of the reasons it’s easy to relate this series on my battle with cynicism equating it a supervillain and approaching it from that angle. It makes sense in my head, makes it easier to be vulnerable about it, etc. Because the truth is I’m not actually a cynical person. But the more I give into negativity, the less I live in my secret identity as Jeff Ratliff, and the more I find myself living life as The Cynic.

Back in January of this year, our worship band got involved in Celebrate Recovery. If you have no idea what Celebrate Recovery (hereafter referred to as CR) is, think of it as the Christian version of AA, but for everything. CR covers not just substance abuse, but also depression, codependency, overeating, grief, sex addiction, etc. CR is almost always done by one church. It essentially becomes a ministry of that church, but the great thing about CR in our community is that it’s not just one church. It’s “ran” by an organization here in town called Piqua Compassion Network.  Piqua Compassion is a non-profit that helps people get ahead in life by helping with bills, teaching life skills, job placement, etc. Like much of the country drugs are a plague here. Piqua Compassion saw a missing spiritual component and sought to address the need by doing something unheard of in this community; bringing churches together. Rather than one church handling everything, there are several involved every week in CR. Our worship band leads the music much of the time, and as a result of us having to stick around for large group time before we can pack our stuff up and head back to church, I’ve learned a lot about a world I had no previous exposure to.

I tell you all this to say, one that, churches coming together to make CR happen? That is a real picture of the Kingdom of God. Despite the fact there are Catholics, Pentecostals, Mainline church people, Methodists, and us rebellious Non-Denominational types all in the room it runs like a champ because we are all their just trying to represent Jesus and do our best to help the people in our community. Doctrinal differences don’t matter when you are hearing the testimony of a man who is fighting every day to stay sober or the silent sobs of a mother who has lost a child to addiction. At that moment your views on the Trinity or predestination mean little, what matters is your capacity for compassion and understanding. But two, for me, it’s an exposure to a whole new world of these “steps” that are impacting more than I realize.

The first step that really resonated with me was Step 4:

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.                                                                                                                                            Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.                  Lamentations 3:40 NIV

I remember that night thinking, “This is a great thing for THEM to do.” At some point over the last couple months, I had to ask God to forgive me for my “us and them” mentality and humble myself to realize that, while I may not abuse alcohol or struggle with codependency, I’ve got my own hurts, habits, and hang-ups that are no better. Faced with this increasing growing cloud of “blah” I had to take a fearless moral inventory of myself. I did not like what I saw.

I’ve realized, increasingly, my bent towards cynicism has affected me in many ways. One of the significant ways it has manifested is in my health. I’m 40, I weigh too much, I’m a type II diabetic, I have high blood pressure, and I take cholesterol medication. You would think I would do more about that. You would think that having a Dad die at 56 with heart problems would kick me into gear, but it doesn’t. In this realm The Cynic really dons his mask, his evil lab coat, and executes his plans. And he wreaks havoc on me. I recently tried riding a bike again. I can’t make it very far, and I am supremely disappointed in myself. I had visions of riding miles and smiling all the way while the wind swirled around me. That didn’t happen. So now it’s “too hot to ride,” or “it’s going to rain,” etc. The Cynic has some very legitimate reasons for me not to live long enough to hold my Grandchildren.

The next step in CR is step 5:

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.                                                                                                                                     “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”   James 5:16a NIV

When I started this blog, it was honestly just as a response as a challenge from the people who speak into my life that I needed to write more. But I am beginning to realize, in dealing with my cynicism, that it is becoming partly a spirit-led manifestation of Step 5. Admitting in public, what I’ve already done privately with some, that some days I’m drowning in this. I’ve spent entire days in a row as the Cynic, and at times I can’t even hear myself. But now, with this blog, it’s out there. On the internet. WHAT HAVE I DONE? AACK!

And it brings me to step 6:

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.               Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 NIV

This is where those of you who aren’t spiritual or into the whole Jesus thing likely cringe. I know, I get it. But even there was no God, living your life being negative and cynical is no way to live. This is the step I find myself in. Struggling to give everything over, hanging on to this pessimism and suspicion for what exactly? Why was it so easy for me to give up my life 8 years ago and walk into a job I’ve never done? Why was it easy to move to a place I’ve never lived, with no support system, for very little money, go on countless mission trips, attempt big things, pray big prayers, stay here when most other people would have left? Why has it become increasingly easier to stand in front of an audience and speak for 35 minutes, and yet I can’t seem just to give this one tiny thing away? Insert “shrugging shoulders” emoji here.

I’ve talked about how this has all come to a head through Carey Nieuwhof’s new book “Didn’t See it Coming.” Carey was on a podcast recently with one of my favorite church leaders Tony Morgan. Tony admitted to struggling with a lot of the same things I do. And, having met Tony and worked with him several years ago, I learned he and I are wired a lot alike. Carey asked Tony a pretty hard question that took me so aback I literally stopped the podcast and didn’t finish it until this morning (you can listen to the whole thing here). He asked him “Where is the reward in cynicism for you?” I’ve chewed on that for the better part of two weeks, and my answer in my brain was the “I told you so” moments I get to have when I’m right, about family stuff, about ministry fails, or worse when some person fails I just KNEW was going to fail. That satisfaction is my reward, sadly.  Sure enough, I turned it back on today, and Tony’s response was:

“When I can look at something and say, ‘I saw that coming, and it actually happened.’ then I think that’s the reward for me.”

And there it is. I can’ speak for Tony, but for me, the reward in cynicism is that it feeds my insatiable need to be right, because (and I am being painfully honest here) at the root of it, I long for the approval and validation of others. Because I am in a vocation where I didn’t get the “4 year degree from a Restoration Movement Bible College” or I am “just the Associate” I constantly feel inadequate, yet at the same time know God has made me capable, so I am constantly looking for someone to go, “Hey that guy is awesome and knows what he is talking about!” And at the root of all that is my identity crisis. Will I choose to be the Cynic? Or will I choose to be the person God made to be? Whose approval REALLY matters when all is said and done? Lately, I keep making the wrong choice, and today I am thankful for grace. I’m not perfect, and never will be, but if I don’t rip off the band-aid and give my wound some fresh air, it might never heal.

Band-Aid ripped. Now the work begins.

The Cynic Watches the News

Time for another part in my series on my battle with cynicism.  I talked a few weeks ago that The Cynic was my supervillain alter ego, you can read that here.  And last week I talked about my work sometimes feeds the villain in me and you can read that here.  I mentioned two other fronts on which cynicism creeps in and convinces me to don my mask and evil lab coat and reap destruction on my unsuspecting arch rivals; the political culture currently and my health.  This post concerns the culture of politics, media, social media, etc. we find ourselves living in now and how it feeds the nastiest supervillain on the black; The Cynic! (cue evil laugh)

It’s impossible to live in this country anymore to not be outraged about well…something.  And to be fair, there sure is a lot perhaps worth being outraged about.  But the Cynic in me has gotten outraged over all the outrage.  The Jesus follower in me is outraged we are outraged about the wrong things, and at the end of the day nothing on cable news does anything but raise my blood pressure and make me more outraged.

I do not loathe politics in and of themselves.  I love studying government, I love the history of our country and how our democratic republic was formed.  What I loathe is how the church has embraced politics, and how it’s inescapable for someone like me.  I hate how a people, who have this thing called the Bible and in it, God spends a good chunk the Old Testament demonstrating how terribly wrong it is, yet we do it anyway.  Nothing in the Bible turns out well when we start mixing religion and man-made politics.  But then again, like the Israelites of the Bible, we seem to never learn.  Neither do I when it comes to a lot of other stuff.

The net result for someone like me is to be utterly cynical about the whole thing.  And if cynicism is the absence of hope, this may be the one area where cynicism is warranted.  From a Christian perspective Jesus never once wasted a moment changing the world through legislation.  He could have very well waltzed into Rome and changed the world that way.  But instead Jesus just went to the people society, and religious people hated and loved them and built a movement on their faithfulness.  He certainly loved the religious people too, just in a different way.  He loved them enough to tell them the truth, because they should have known better.  He called them blind, fools, hypocrites, the offspring of vipers, whitewashed tombs, and unknown graves just to name a few.

When Jesus did finally cross paths to the prominent government of the world at the time, his response perhaps has a lesson.  Jesus doesn’t say much about government, except one very profound statement found all three of synoptic Gospels.  The essential summary is that the religious people were trying to get him arrested so they thought for sure he would oppose taxes because people treated Caesar like a God.  That would NEVER happen today, right?  Lol.  Anyway, they send these guys to trip him up, and well I’ll just use Matthew’s version of this encounter from chapter 22:

15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by others, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay the imperial tax to Caesar or not?”

18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, 20 and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription?”

21 “Caesar’s,” they replied.

Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

22 When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

Sick burn bro.  Had Jesus implored people not to pay their taxes he ultimately would have been arrested and came to face-to-face with Pontius Pilate sooner then he would.  So when Jesus finally is arrested and actually interacts with the Roman authorities, Jesus doesn’t waste his time defending himself to the authority of man.  Like at all.  Again from Matthew 27:

11 Meanwhile, Jesus stood before the governor, and the governor asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

“You have said so,” Jesus replied.

12 When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. 13 Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” 14 But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge—to the great amazement of the governor.

That’s the Upside Down Kingdom.  That’s also tons of swag.  Like Omar from The Wire kind of swag.

I think, instead, the story of Pilate is a reminder of what happens to anyone when they step into the political arena, sometimes for the “right” reasons.  Pilate did not want to do anything to Jesus, he says multiple times he finds no fault in him.  He tries to deflect the issue but keeps finding himself faced with Jesus time and time again.  In the light of increasing pressure from the Jewish authorities and the Jewish people he can either go with what he knows is right, and not punish Jesus, or he can cave.  When Pilate tried to set Jesus free, the crowd “kept shouting, ‘If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar’ ” (John 19:12).  No doubt fearing news of this would reach Rome and end his career, Pilate takes the cheap way out, caves to the pressure, and eventually sentences Jesus to death.

Pilate should forever stand as a warning against giving in to the pressure of the crowd and turning our backs on what is right. And that can happen far more easily than most of us realize, especially in the world of politics.  The money in politics is incredible.  Especially since a few years ago the Supreme Court here in the U.S. essentially equated money with free speech, the money now flowing into politics is vast and has very little regulation.  That means, should you aspire to a political office perhaps even for the right reasons, it becomes challenging to win on a state or national scale without a tremendous amount of money.  And that money comes with a lot of strings attached.

I’m always extremely suspicious of folks who say they are Christians yet want to run for political office.  I’m not saying they shouldn’t do it, but It’s hard to square the Upside Down Kingdom Jesus brings with the Worldly Kingdoms that politics is most concerned with building.  Mixing those two becomes a toxic waste dump far too often.  Like Pilate, when faced with a crowd of people who want something you know is wrong, but the result of standing-up likely means the loss of your position, money, and all the trappings that come with political office?  Well, it’s no wonder we find ourselves in 2018, in America anyway, with our state capitols and our nation’s capital, full of too many Pilates and minimal salt and light.

Then again maybe, like God demonstrated time and time again the Old Testament, perhaps it’s just a reminder to stop putting our hope in all the wrong places.

I wanted to take a mention and thank those of you who reached out after my post on Tuesday.  I really appreciated it.  I also wanted to give a shout out to another blog and acquaintance of mine Dave Richmond who wrote a great blog about the fishbowl we live in.  Go check it out here!

The Pain of Isolation

Yesterday afternoon I read the sad news that over the weekend a Pastor in California committed suicide. The Pastor, Andrew Stoecklein of Inland Hills Church in Chino, CA struggled with depression and anxiety. He leaves behind a wife and three sons. His wife said on social media:

“I don’t know how I am going to face this, I am completely heartbroken, lost, and empty. Never in a million years would I have imagined this would be the end of his story,”

You can read the full news story on his passing here: https://churchleaders.com/news/331944-pastor-suicide-depression-and-anxiety-claim-young-pastors-life.html

In light of hearing about this yesterday my blog post is just going to be completely honest (as per usual). I, personally, have never once contemplated suicide, but I can certainly see how someone gets there, particularly in this profession. I’ve been at this full time for 8 years now. Pastor’s often leave their families and support and systems to go into the unknown where they hope to find a new support system, but the honest truth is in most cases that just doesn’t happen. I want to say up front I love our church. And when I say church I mean the people. I honestly love them, with that, “I would jump in front of a freight train for them,” kind of love. But the truth of the matter is being a Pastor is incredibly isolating. You can never truly give all of yourself away because at the end of the day the people you are around the most are looking to you for guidance. They are looking for you for leadership. They are looking to you for something to imitate, and so we live in a glass house. Constantly.

There are times I’ve gone down that road and been vulnerable only to have it used as a weapon against me. That hurts. I’ve had, what I thought were friendships with people, only to discover that when I was hurting and needed something, there actually wasn’t a friendship there. I was the Pastor, after all, I was supposed to help them with their problems, not them help me (apparently) in any way, shape, or form. I’ve had people who I thought were my friends and could be honest with, abuse that. Spit on it (metaphorically speaking- no one has actually spit on me…yet). Over the years that has left me, at times, feeling paranoid and delusional. I’ve had “friends” leave the church and in some instances just stop talking to me altogether. Relationships that I thought were close and forged together by me going through battle with them, and then suddenly there comes a moment where they either didn’t like what I did or said, its over. The worst has been when the storm came on me I thought they would be there, and yet they were nowhere to be found. Heck after my wife and I experienced two stillbirths in less than a year we got a few meals afterward but a month or two later, as she fell into a deep depression, I just felt forgotten and incredibly lonely.

Each time something like that happens a callous develops that only God can remove. As a result, even though I am surrounded by people, most of the time I feel extremely alone.

Dr. Thom Rainer wrote a great blog post a while back about what Pastor’s struggle with that you can read by clicking here.

I’ve struggled with all those. But, in particular here recently with #5.

Loneliness. “It’s really hard to find a true friend when you are a pastor. And when you have no one to talk to about your struggles and questions, life can get lonely.”

I am incredibly fortunate to have some good friends. It is regrettable I never see them. All of them live away from where I live. All of them are very busy with their own kids, careers, and problems. And I’m not a “talk on the phone for an hour” kind of guy. I need that face-to-face time.

In the absence of my friends then, over the years I’ve tried to meet with, and create friendships with, the other Pastors in town or even the same kind of church in a nearby city and nothing seems to click. I know them, they know me, but there is no real friendship there. My co-worker and I seem always to be the one initiating everything, and over time it gets old. I guess they don’t struggle with the same things we struggle with? I’m not sure. Heck, maybe they just don’t like us. Who knows. Either way, at least for me, I just end up end up feeling more alone and quite frankly, rejected.

I have even more difficult time because I’m not the SENIOR PASTOR. As if the SENIOR PASTOR is some magical position. As if ministry is not ministry. And then I’m also not the Youth Pastor or Children’s pastor, which are the other common positions we have around here that I can’t “talk shop” with. We also aren’t a big church, so the bigger church’s have no interest in us. They can’t get anything out of us, nor do they believe they can learn anything from us. They are extremely wrong on the latter, by the way. And most people who do my job are in bigger churches, so it’s just weird all around for me.

To be a Pastor and be effective there has to be some transparency. People see through phony. When I do preach, I can’t get up there and spend 35 minutes merely teaching, if I can’t relate what I am talking about back to my own experiences, and how what’s happened to me fits into God’s story then I’m not doing what I’m called to do. Because I have calling to set an example, I will continue to be me, even though at times that is painful because of what people will do with that. I just have to keep trusting God with the consequences.

I know, however, this is extremely difficult for my wife who doesn’t easily open up. We are leaving our Family Group we’ve been in for 3 years to start a new one, and already we feel left behind and left out by the wonderful folks we are leaving. And like she says, “you leave pieces of yourself there.” So when we as people feel forgotten, those fragile parts you shared and opened up feel forgotten, and that does hurt.

I think for guys like Pastor Andrew, he probably left so many pieces of himself everywhere that there wasn’t any left to give out. And in a culture where we say stupid heretical phrases like “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” Eventually, the emptiness catches up to you, you begin to lose your identity, and that’s when you are at your most vulnerable.

I pray today for my brothers and sisters in the ministry. I pray for your families. I pray for real relationships for all of us. I pray that when we start feeling empty, we seek help. I pray the church will no longer shame those who struggle with depression but empower them, left them up, and truly be love to them. And if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to drop me a line. We are all in this together.

To my church family, who may or may not read this, I love you all. I think the world of you. Just remember I am a flawed, sinful, lonely human like the rest of you. Sometimes I don’t say the right thing, return the phone call quick enough, or whatever I do or say lets you down, but just know that I still love you. You may stop talking to me, or stop being in my group, or quit a ministry I lead or even leave the church, but I still love you, and I am thankful you were in my life. Know that I still love you and be aware that I was vulnerable and open and now you carry a piece of me with you. It took a lot of courage for me to give that out. You may not like me anymore, but at least honor that piece of me.

Every time I think about giving up recently I think now of the closing line of Bob Goff’s book Everybody Always. “Every time I wonder who I should love, and for how long I should love them, God continues to whisper to me; Everybody, always.”

And so by His grace I go. Godspeed Pastor Andrew. Prays to his family and his church family.

The Cynic Goes To Work

My supervillain identity has been coming out a lot lately. If you didn’t read the blog from two weeks ago, go here, where I talk about the beginnings of my battle with cynicism. In the last couple of weeks, really since I wrote about it, called it out, and recognized my problem with it, my cynicism has gotten worse. That’s always the way it works, isn’t it? You realize something is not right and you start to correct it and that something just tries to lock its grip on you.

I’ve got three areas that drive my cynical nature; work, the general political/social media realm, and my health. Over the next few posts, I’m just going to be honest about each of these things make me cynical. And then after that, I’ll go back and let you know what Carey Nieuwhof’s forthcoming book “Didn’t See it Coming” (preorder here) says about battling this problem. So yes, I have read chapter 2!  We WILL get to that.

The first area that feeds the negative is probably the same for a lot people; work.  I know I know I can hear you now, “But Jeff you are a Pastor!  You only work one day a week!”  Right.  And teachers get the summer off too.

I work a lot. Most weeks I put in around 50 hours, sometimes it can be a lot more, sometimes it can be less, but it averages out to around 50 hours or so per week.  That’s not atypical for full-time staff in smaller churches.  And small churches aren’t the exception, we are the norm.  A little over 80% of all churches in America are considered “small” and less than 200 people. Our church fits that, though we’ve gained momentum and grown quite a bit in the last 3 years and to go from an unhealthy church to a healthy growing church takes a ton of work. Ministry can be draining, especially on your family.  To put in some perspective I’ve seen studies that say the average tenure for someone in my same position in the same size churches is as low as 1.5 years and as high as 2.9 years. I’ve been here over 8 years now. So what’s the point?  Well when you are in a church of 150 and have a small full-time staff you have to spin a lot of plates.

I’m the “associate” pastor.  That can mean a variety things in a variety of places but for me it means I run the office, which includes the facilities and human resources. I’m the Financial Secretary and work with our Treasurer to keep everything in Quickbooks categorized and reconciled, and I do 90% of the purchasing for the church. I oversee our small groups, missions, and the worship team. Oh and the Media Team who run the sound, make videos, graphics, etc. I also mange our web site, social media, etc.  I lead a small group, I teach a 101 class every so often, and I serve on the Leadership Team. And I preach about 10-12 times year. Now I have a TON of great volunteers in almost all those areas who are tremendously helpful.  Wihtout them I would truly be sunk.  But if you imagine for a moment the guy who spins all those plates at the circus…

You got it.  Now imagine all those things I do, or oversee, as a plate. In order for them to work they gotta keep spinning and stay balanced.  Any time something upsets one of those plates, and it starts to go sideways, guess what happens to the other plates if I just focus on getting that one plate spinning again correctly? CRASH! The trick is to somehow get that plate balanced again, without it ever having stopped spinning, and all the while keep the other plates balanced and spinning. It’s hard. Now imagine, because you are in ministry everyone of those plates is filled with people.  Because, like teachers, or police officers, and many other jobs we are in essentially in the people business.  Not only do I need the plates balanced, and spinning, but I also have to keep the people from falling off.  The fact remains, at some point, every one of those plates is going to get out of balance, so at almost every moment you are always having to do that dance that saves all them from falling, keeps them all balanced, and keeps them all spinning. Sometimes it’s a blast.  Sometimes it’s a burden.  Sometimes one of the plates crashes down and it hurts, but the bottom line is no matter what, it’s just draining over time.  And also fulfilling.

I’m not complaining, I’m just being honest. And this doesn’t just go for my job, this goes for many many other occupations as well.  And many of those same people also deal with the risk of becoming cynical and negative.  In your situation, and mine, truly most of the time time there is nothing anyone can really do about it. In our context I’m fortunate enough to have one other full-time staff member who has his own plates to spin. And because he spins those plates I have less plates to spin.  And both of us are also lucky enough to have a part-time staff person who has her own plates to spin PLUS she has another whole job outside of here with its own plates. And my volunteers not only have whatever church plate they spin, but they also have their own careers, families, education, etc. plates to spin. Plate spinning is just a part of it, but over time let’s be honest, one can tend to become cynical about it.  For you maybe someone you work with could spin a few more plates and just won’t.  Or there is that one person who, try as they might, just aren’t competent enough to get their plate on the stick, let alone spinning.  Or the powers that be could hire a few more plate spinners ad help you out, but they won’t do it.  All of those things can lead us to bitterness and negativity.  And because we spend so much of our time at work, it just bleeds into everything else.  We bring it home, we become negative about our spouse, our kids, our church, our whatever.

I’m very blessed.  I absolutely LOVE my job. I knew, when I was 19 years old, this is what I supposed to be doing. I ran from that for a long time (13 years to be exact), so I don’t have any intention of putting these plates down. As hard as they can sometimes be to keep going, it’s what I was set apart to do. And I think I’m pretty good at it. Most of the time anyway.

The challenge for me is I have to get better at investing in others who I can raise up to take some of these plates. That’s extremely difficult, because in our context those leaders are going to be volunteers and volunteers, like I said earlier, have their own fair share of plates to spin. And two, my natural inclination is just to do it myself. I want to do it myself for two reasons; the first because I don’t want to bother anyone else with it (after all I’m the one getting paid I tell myself), and second, it’s because I’m control freak. If I do it, it’s done my way, on my time frame, and I don’t have to anyone else.

The combination of all these things it what fuels the cynicism in me when it comes to working. So I’ve got to keep working on, not delegating tasks, but actually giving responsibility away to others. That will help force me to invest my time and energy into others and help me deal with those control issues at the same time.

And finally, I’ve got to figure out a way to take more time off. I get 3 weeks of vacation per year, a grand total of 15 days, which I think is incredibly generous. Last year I used 9 days. This year I’ve used 3. And if my schedule plays out the way it is now I’ll only up using about 5 more between now and the end of the year. I’ve got to get better at taking breaks. My problem is as long as I home a part of my brain is always in church mode. Since our schedules and finances don’t allow us to take quarterly vacations, what I really need to do is find some sort of a hobby I can do that helps my mind to concentrate on what it’s front of me and not everything else. I started riding my bike more recently, I’ll talk more about that in the post about my health, but that doesn’t really shut off that part of my brain. Also, we can have some long winters up here in Western Ohio and an outdoor activity hobby isn’t the best long-term solution. I’m working on this one.

I do love my job, but like any person, there are struggles.  Do you also struggle with this?  What are you doing to combat the issue?  Feel free to let me know.  Thanks for letting me share a bit of my battle. And knowing is half the battle right? GI Joe!

Resources Part 2

I’m back after a crazy week last week. Our church went mobile for a week and did our service in the park, which was a great deal of work and planning that all paid off. I have a new-found respect for church plants that set-up and tear down every week. In the past, I’ve kind of dreaded these things because I generally have to do so much work on my own. Fortunately, this time around the culture of our church has changed so much I had quite a bit of help. We also had a huge event that night that hours and hours went into.  What made it difficult on me, however, was that with no vacation this year and the kids about to head back to school we threw together a last minute two-day trip to Great Wolf Lodge. It was great, the kids had fun, but by the time my brain registered that I could relax it was time to come back. I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I do get a vacation, it usually takes a couple of days for my systems to convince my brain we are now on vacation and I can relax. I need about 4 days if I actually want to feel relaxed for more than 24 hours. Alas, this is a first world problem!

Anyway a couple of weeks ago I posted Resources Part 1 (click here to read it) that dealt with a few resources I love for personal spiritual growth and today I want to quickly share a few resources that have helped me tremendously when it comes real leadership in the church. And to note, I know I said this blog wouldn’t go entirely about faith, and while I don’t want this blog to be solely about spirituality, I certainly cannot separate that from who I am. My faith is my identity. Those two things; identity and faith, are inseparable and any time I write that is just going to spill out because it’s who I am, so my blog is just going to be about me. What it’s like being a husband, a father, a friend, and a Pastor and how my identity shapes all those things. Sometimes it will be about what I struggle with, sometimes it may be bits and pieces of my messages I shared in the past, and I use them as a jumping off point to go more in-depth on something. And sometimes, well you can guarantee, it will be about my beloved Kentucky Wildcats and Pittsburgh Steelers. But either way, my faith is going to spill out. It’s just part of what makes me…well me. Now on to the content!

Concerning church structure and leadership, there are a million great books out there. The best place to start is Simple Church by Thom Rainer and Eric Geiger (https://goo.gl/HGJukr). It’s a great book that gives leaders some practical advice on getting the ball rolling in vision and structure. I think its strongest point is helping church leaders simplify and prune what exactly they do. The downside is it’s almost too generic on a vision and mission front. It certainly enables you to define your strategy, but it doesn’t really help clarify your church’s unique expression the Great Commission. That said it’s a great starting point and worth taking your entire leadership through as a building block.

The best two books on leading a church from a structural standpoint are both by Will Mancini. The first one is “Church Unique” (https://goo.gl/nBC1SV). Church Unique walks you through, step-by-step, the process of creating a vision frame for your church based on the unique expression your family expresses God’s mission. What do I mean by that? Well, we all know the Great Commission; “Go forth making disciples, baptizing them, etc.” But every one of us is uniquely gifted to carry that out. And collectively every church is uniquely gifted to carry that out in different ways. Church Unique walks you through the discovery process of figuring out who you are as a church family and how God has called your specific church or organization to represent Him.

Listen to me, I speak from experience here if you follow this and stick to it? It is the most freeing tool I’ve experienced in 15 years now of being a church leader. You will be tempted to rush through the process and skip the steps. Don’t. The discovery process is essential to this tool being successful. It took us a year to work through it, and it’s taken us another 2 years to implement it. It is worth the work and the wait.

The companion to it is God Dreams (https://goo.gl/UFtLBi). You need to work Church Unique about 80% of the way through before bringing God Dreams into the picture, but God Dreams helps you laser focus the vision into achievable goals. God Dreams enables you to paint the picture of your church’s future and hang it in the middle of your vision frame that Church Unique helps you to create. I can’t tell you how freeing these two tools have been for me personally, but for our church.

We brought in Will Heath from Auxano to help us through the process of creating our vision frame, casting the unique vision for our church, and implementing the tools across the board. It’s hands down, been the best investment we’ve made as a church. The clarity we have now is unbelievable. Not every church can make that investment, I’m aware, but you can still buy all your leaders or staff the books and get to work. And I’m more than willing to help any of you if you ever need it.

Finally, on a personal leadership level, I really love “Hand Me Another Brick” by Chuck Swindoll (https://goo.gl/ePJq9Y). Using the life of Nehemiah, Swindoll really showed me what it’s like to be a leader. Most everything Swindoll writes is excellent, but this one is my favorite. I reread it every couple of years, it’s crazy highlighted up. It’s just practical, plus he goes into a lot of detail about the story of Nehemiah and how almost everything he faced, we also face today. It’s just really, really, good.

Those just a few of the resources that have helped me to figure a lot of stuff out. I am incredibly passionate about leadership, I’m fanatical about the local church being on mission and making a difference in their communities and the world. All these books are just resources though, if you don’t work on your own maturity it doesn’t matter how many Vision Frames you put in place they’ll ultimately fail. The critical component to church health is spiritually healthy leaders. So before you pick up any of these books, make sure you go back to part one and heed those resources first.